


thank you; anytime

by InLust



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Accidental Relationship, Cuddling, F/F, Family Dynamics, Intimacy, Recovery, Sam in Glasses, Slow Burn, after the reign, bed sharing, desperation for normalcy, redemption arc, reign is dead and sam is alive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 13:31:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14021316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InLust/pseuds/InLust
Summary: After Reign, Sam just wants her life to be normal, but she can't really do that when she's so much more. Everyone can see it, it just takes her a little longer.





	thank you; anytime

**Author's Note:**

> *stretches and cracks every vertebrae in my body* HEY Y'AAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL
> 
> so after weeks of studying and exams and shit, guess who is back with a ridiculously long one shot aGAIN...MY BAD...alright honestly this started as a funny joke--it was supposed to be funny because i was thinking "you know what this ship needs more of? accidental relationship tehehehe" 
> 
> that joke had me laughing, but honestly i'm the biggest joke because of how long this ended up being 
> 
> things to look forward to: sam redemption--from sam's pov, sam in glasses, intimate hugs, sam and alex coparenting, super supportive friendships, and a very unintentional slow burn

It’s funny how the DEO seems to trust Sam more than Sam trusts herself. Because when you discover that you were a Kryptonian baby experimented on to become a super powered weapon designed to kill worlds, things can get a little _dicey_. Especially with the split personality thing. 

It’s been almost three months since they rendered the Worldkiller implantation inert inside of Sam. Despite Reign’s essentially dead state, it still worries Sam that maybe she was Reign all along and **Sam** was her _alternate_ personality. The thought always makes her head hurt. That is if her head could really hurt anymore. Or any part of her. Turns out the Kryptonian powers had stuck.  

So with the death of Reign, Sam had to learn how to control her powers. It means spending hours and hours at the DEO going through counseling and training.

“Is there a reason I’m training so much?” Sam asks Kara and Alex when they get to take a break from running drills. She grabs a towel to wipe the sweat off her face and takes a drink before sitting down on the bench. 

“We want to test your powers, see where you are at and what you can do in stressful situations,” Alex offers as she finishes typing her assessment into the pad. 

“Are you training me to become another Supergirl?” Sam jabs pointedly. When she’d first found out about her powers, she thought she’d be doing something good. Exactly like Supergirl. But she wasn’t Supergirl, she was far from it and honestly, she doesn’t know how she can recover.

Kara sits down besides Sam. “I know that the powers have been a bit overwhelming for you in the last couple of months and it’s not that we want you to become another Supergirl. It’s just better if you _do_ decide to save lives, you know what you can and can’t do. That way we have the best possible outcomes.” She pats Sam’s back before gently rubbing.

Sam lets her shoulders slump. “I get it I suppose. And I’m grateful that you guys are taking the time to do this with me.” She pauses for a brief moment and hears Alex stop tapping at her pad. Kara stares at her patiently to continue. “I’m sorry I feel weird saying this.”

“We’re not here to judge you Sam,” Alex offers quickly as she tucks the pad into her cargo pocket. “Talk to us. What’re you thinking?”

Sam sighs. “I--I want to know if I can be _normal_ again. Like how it used to be when I didn’t have Kryptonian superpowers.” Sam looks to Alex, who glances at Kara. 

“I’m not going to lie to you, it’s never going to be the same,” Kara honestly answers. She reaches for Sam’s hand and takes it so that Sam looks at her. “I know what it’s like to want to be normal but what you can do is extraordinary.”

Even though she knows Kara shares her strength, she hesitates squeezing Kara’s hand for comfort. She looks down at her feet, shaking her head. “I know and part of me loves the idea of being able to actually help people. But I’ve done so much damage as Reign and these powers--being me-- _normal single mom_ me--I’m scared I could hurt someone with them. Whenever Ruby comes to visit me, she hugs me so fiercely because she knows I’m training hard, but I can’t hug her back because I’m scared I’d break her.”

“You’re not going to break her,” Kara reassures, squeezing her hand carefully. 

Another hand falls on her shoulder and she looks up to Alex smiling down at her with reassurance. “Don’t worry, Sam. We are going to get you where you want to be, it’s just going to take some time.”

In spite of her skepticism, Sam tries to be hopeful.

\---------------------

A week later, Sam waits for Alex to give her results of her latest physical assessment, to which Alex has been very positive about. She fiddles with the sleeve of her standard issue DEO uniform she’s been given to wear since she started her stay there. If Alex says there’s a good outlook, it must mean they’re considering letting her go home. The thought frightens her and she tears a bit of her sleeve as she continues to fiddle.

Alex has only left the room for less than 10 minutes, but Sam starts to feel anxious being alone. Every time she is, she touches something to ease her nerves and ends up breaking at least 5 other things. The most recent one she feels the worst about is Alex’s stethoscope, which she knows she should replace at some point. 

“Wow, my lab is still in one piece,” Alex assesses as she walks back in. Sam’s eyes widen before she sheepishly tucks her hair behind her ears. “I’m kidding.” Alex jokes causing Sam to let out a low incredulous laugh. 

“I always feel guilty about breaking something of yours even though I don’t mean to,” Sam points out as she gingerly touches the tray of instruments lying on the lab bench. 

“Luckily, things are replaceable,” Alex reminds as she places Sam’s file on the bench beside her. “Ready to see your results?”

“I thought I wouldn’t be allowed to see my personnel folder, being all _top_ _secret_ and such.”

“I convinced them that you should be allowed to see your progress. You shouldn’t be kept in the dark about your condition if you’re going to be back out in society you know?” 

Alex informs her so casually that Sam almost misses it. Sam feels her eyes widen and her heart race with anticipation as she quietly asks, “I’m allowed to go home?”

Alex smiles and nods. “You, Samantha Arias, are allowed to go home.” 

The words should make Sam feel happier, but she only feels worry as she takes it in. She’s going to get to go home with all of her Kryptonian powers, after what happened with Reign, she’s going to get to go home. She’ll get to work again, see her daughter again, and it makes the anxiety inside of her grow. A hand falls on Sam’s shoulder, squeezing it gently before rubbing her upper arm. 

“Are you okay?” Alex stares at her with deep concern. Sam looks up to meet her eyes, warm and welcoming as they’ve grown closer over the weeks. Alex can easily read her emotions even better than Kara or Lena can. 

Sam takes a deep breath before shrugging. She feels the twist in her stomach. “I’m not sure. I know I should be happy but--are you _sure_ I can go home? Are you sure that Reign is gone? Are you sure I won’t hurt anyone else?” 

The look on Alex’s face softens and she lets go of Sam to open the file. She tells Sam that she’s completely healed from the battle from Reign. She’s in peak physical condition. Sure, she’ll have to wear lead rimmed glasses and noise dampening earrings until she’s entirely used to all of her powers, but otherwise she’s passed all of the tests that every field operative and Supergirl has gone through. The therapist has signed off on her progress as fit for society. The implantation is still rendered inert by Lena’s neurotransmitter until they can safely remove it from her system completely. 

“Sam, you are 100% capable of being able to go home and live your life again,” Alex reassures. “If we didn’t trust you, we wouldn’t let you go. I thought this would make you happy, you’ll get to see Ruby again.”

“I am, I _am_ happy that I’ll be able to see Ruby again,” Sam argues. “That’s all I’ve wanted for the last three months, but--I’m still scared.” She pauses. “What if I hurt her?” All she can do as she admits that is look at her hands. She knows her hands are still soft and pliant but the strength behind them that she yields is another story. “What if I can’t do what Kara can do? What if I can’t control my strength?” 

Alex purses her lips, not saying anything yet but she understands where Sam is coming from. “Get up,” Alex suddenly says. 

Sam stares in confusion but gets up. She turns to Alex curiously. “What--”

Alex holds her arms open. She doesn’t say anything but Sam knows a universal signal for a hug.

“Alex, what’re--” 

“Just hug me,” Alex says simply. Sam opens her mouth to protest. “I won’t break. Trust me. Just--follow my lead.” 

Sam swallows thickly. She hasn’t hugged anyone in the last three months, too terrified to return any affection. But Alex stands before her and she feels the months of trust and friendship amount to this. Sam can still hear the calm, soothing heartbeat from Alex. Alex has never been afraid of her, or shown her that she’s scared of her. If anything, Alex has expressed more often than not, that she trusts Sam. _Why_? That’s beyond her. 

Sam takes a breath to ease her own heartbeat before walking towards Alex. Despite her couple of inches on Alex, Sam goes for Alex’s waist, hands hovering just over her body until Alex’s arms secure themselves around her shoulder to pull her in fully. She stiffens for a brief moment before she presses her hands gently at the small of Alex’s back and relaxes. She breathes out over Alex’s shoulder as she drops her chin. 

“Not so bad,” Alex points out playfully. “I know you can do better than that.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You’re holding me like we’re at the prom. Don't be scared to touch me,” Alex clarifies. She wraps her arms more securely around Sam’s shoulders until Sam feels more pressure. “It’s been three months, living in the DEO in almost isolation. If I’m going to be the first person you hug, it should be a good one.”

“Well, I don’t want to accidentally crush you,” Sam admits, burying her face into Alex’s shoulder sheepishly. She can smell Alex’s cucumber melon body wash and lavender shampoo as if it was freshly applied. “This is good.” 

She isn’t lying. She feels so relieved she can hold someone without _breaking_ them. 

“I taught Kara how to hug,” Alex informs conversationally. “When she first got here, she was just as scared as you are. We practiced with some potato sacks and bags of sand after she completely destroyed a couple of my favorite pillows.” Sam laughs as the thought of Kara squeezing a couple of pillows too hard until they explode. Alex vibrates with laughter as well. “I’m going to tell you the same thing I told her. You ready?”

Sam hums as she nods into Alex’s shoulder. 

“When you want to show how much you love or care about someone, you’re going to _feel_ exactly how much you want to hold them regardless of how strong you are.” Alex moves a hand to stroke Sam’s hair as she holds onto her. 

Sam takes in Alex’s words and lets her hands press into Alex just a bit more. One arm wraps securely around Alex’s waist and the other slides up her spine, over her scapula, before reaching for her shoulder. She pulls Alex closer and lets herself hug Alex, channeling her relief and gratitude through this hug as best as she can. She exhales, feelings her fingers press a little more and Alex almost returns the strength of the hug, which makes her all the more relieved. “Thank you so much, Alex.” 

Alex tilts her head against the side of Sam’s comfortably. “Anytime, Sam.”

\---------------------

Sam leaves the DEO three days later.

Of course, not without precautions. In addition to Lena’s neuroinhibitor, her vitals are going to be recorded and stored until her weekly check up at the DEO. If she ever elected to, she could train with Supergirl as well. She will also have at least one agent on rotation for 24 hours at her disposal if anything were to go awry. 

By the time, they finish the paperwork, the screening, _and_ J’onn’s assessment, it’s time for Ruby to get out of school. Lena offers to send a town car to pick up Sam from the DEO, but she finds it embarrassingly ostentatious. But then again, J’onn sending her off with a government sedan isn’t all that better. 

“It isn’t abnormal, just so you know,” Alex says glancing to Sam who is wringing her fingers through the drive. Sam looks at Alex in confusion. “For the first couple of weeks, Lena sent a town car everyday to pick Ruby up. Needless to say, everyone talks when a _Bentley_ rolls up to school. Ruby ended up asking me to pick her up in something less...obnoxious until you came home.” 

“You pick up Ruby from school?” Sam asks in awe. 

“Well, yeah,” Alex says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “It worked anyways since she wanted to visit you almost everyday.” Sam’s heart swells as she says a small thank you. “She’s going to be really excited to see you.”

Easy enough, Sam grows more and more excited to see her daughter. 

It feels weird being back in her normal clothes, getting used to wearing cargos and compression tees without a care in the world. She’s in a navy suit like she just got off of work. It goes well with her cover story that she’s been abroad running a subsidiary of L-Corp. 

It’s nice to be back.

Alex pulls into the line of cars waiting across the street from the school. She doesn’t cut the engine as she unbuckles her seatbelt. Sam does the same, craning her neck to look past Alex as the doors open for the children to start coming out. Unconsciously, she grips the gearshift, just to hold into something. 

Alex suddenly gets out of the car and Sam looks around, worried she forgot how her daughter looks. Her door opens and Alex is standing there holding it open. 

“You can do this,” she encourages with a bright smile. Sam nods and gets out of the car. “You’ll be fine.” Sam straightens her suit a bit before Alex waves past her. 

Sam darts her attention to where Alex is looking and she sees her daughter. Ruby stares in confusion at first before she recognizes her mom and the smile on her face grows larger than life and she rushes towards them. Her heart grows impossibly large in her chest because everything feels normal for a brief moment. 

Sam remembers to jog at a normal speed across the street to meet Ruby. 

Ruby comes bounding towards her, backpack bouncing on her back. “Mom!” she yells. 

Sam smiles and bends down, arms open as Ruby slams into her. For a moment, she forgets she isn’t going to be knocked over by Ruby anymore with her powers. She doesn’t care. She wraps her arms around her daughter and lifts her with surprising ease. Ruby squeals in delight like she’s a baby all over and holds onto Sam tighter being lifted off the ground. Sam holds Ruby close against her, letting Ruby rest more like she’s used to and breathing her daughter in. 

“I’m so happy to see you,” Ruby says into Sam’s hair, “but can you put me down? I’m too old for you to carry me.” 

“No, you’re always going to be my baby,” Sam says as she peppers Ruby’s cheek with kisses. 

“You’re embarrassing me mom!” Ruby laughs loudly as Sam puts her back on the ground. 

Sam gives one more gentle squeeze before letting go to inspect her daughter. 

Ruby does the same briefly and quirks her head. “Are you going to wear glasses forever?”

Sam suppresses a laugh before pulling her daughter in. “Hopefully not.”

\---------------------

Alex pulls into the driveway of the Arias’ home and gets out of the car with them. Sam is confused by this but Ruby pays no mind as she leads her mom back to their home. What surprises Sam is that Alex has the key to their house and enters before they do, glancing around suspiciously. 

“She always does this when she drops me off,” Ruby notes as she takes off her shoes. “To make sure I’m safe.” 

“Hmm.” Sam tilts her head curiously before pushing off her glasses. The lead filter making everything seem normal comes off and Sam can see everything in and out. She watches through the walls as Alex inspects the back door. She takes this opportunity to scan the rest of the house, taking it slowly. When she’s done, she puts her glasses back on, releasing a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “Alex, everything is clear!” 

Alex reappears in the foyer with a confused look. “Did you just--” 

“Use my X-ray power to scan my house?” Sam casually asks, kicking off her heels. “I thought I’d give it a try.” 

Ruby smiles excitedly. “That is so cool!” 

Alex rolls her eyes playfully. “Oh, the coolness factor wears off when she starts cheating at hide and go seek.” 

“Oh please, what twelve year old plays hide and go seek anymore?” Sam reasons. 

Ruby thinks for a moment. “But we do have Nerf gun wars. It’d be a pretty unfair advantage-- _hmm_...I may have to rethink how cool it actually is to have a supermom.” 

Sam sticks her tongue out Ruby and starts making her way to the kitchen. “What should we have for dinner Rubes? It’s been so long since I’ve had real human food.”

“Hey! I bring you Big Belly Burger and Noonan’s when I can,” Alex argues. 

Ruby laughs. “Are you going to stay for dinner, Alex?” she asks as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. 

Sam stops in her tracks and turns around to stare at Alex. 

Alex pats Ruby on the head affectionately before shaking her head. “Not tonight, kiddo. Give you some time to spend with your mom.” Ruby pouts but nods happily anyway as she hugs Alex. “I’m going to just grab my bag and head out.” 

“Your bag?” Sam asks curiously.

Ruby slowly peels herself from Alex’s side. “Alex stays over to make sure I’m not home alone.” 

Sam’s eyes widen as Alex’s cheeks flush. “Thank you,” she lets out gratefully.

Alex rubs the back of her neck shyly. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. Let me just--” 

Sam shakes her head. “I’ll get it.” Sam bounds up the stairs, going to her room to find Alex’s bag sitting at the foot of her bed and coming back downstairs. She stares in confusion as Alex and Ruby stare in awe with their windswept hair. “What?” 

Ruby exclaims, “ _SUPERSPEED!_ ” 

Sam’s eyes widen. “Oh god, I’m _so_ sorry!” she lets out quickly as she hands Alex her bag. 

Alex chuckles, taking her bag. “You’re at home, it’s fine. Plus the more you use them, you’ll get used to having them.”

Sam still blushes anyway. It’s going to feel weird getting used to her powers outside of the DEO. 

Later that night, she has a bit of trouble sleeping when she takes off her sound dampening earrings. She is _trying_ to get used to her powers but hearing everything feels like too much even in the dead of night. It's also weird to not actually be tired either. She sighs into her pillow before breathing in. There's a faint scent of cucumber melon and lavender and Sam buries her face into her pillow. She gives up on tuning things out and puts her earrings back on and falling asleep to Alex’s comforting smell.

\---------------------

It honestly isn’t easy the first week Sam goes back to leading her life. In her absence, there were many rumors of where she’s been and what she’s doing. The board has a field day like a shark tank inquiring about her next moves alongside Lena for their long term goals for the upcoming fiscal year. She’s so behind on work that she almost forgets what she actually does.  

And on top of that, she’s broken three phones, two keyboards, four mice, and 20 fountain pens unintentionally because of how demanding everyone’s been. It's a wonder she hasn't broken her cellphone yet.

She sends a text to Alex for the first time in a week, having not seen her as regularly since leaving the DEO. 

**Sam [11:28am]** : I don’t know if I can do this

Alex has been busy and now that Sam isn’t at the DEO, she feels bad for bothering Alex. Alex isn’t even on her security detail apparently, busy attending to her other responsibilities. It makes sense that Alex would have more important responsibilities than following Sam around all day. 

“Are you doing okay?” Lena asks, appearing in her doorway with a bag.

Sam perks up at the sound of her friend’s voice and the scent of a rustic salad. The earthy smells entice Sam as she pushes back from her desk.

“I’m--” Sam almost says she’s fine, but she knows better than to keep it to herself. Part of her therapy was to actually be honest about her feelings. She glances at her phone and she hasn’t seen a response from Alex in a few hours. She looks back to Lena. “I’m just a little overwhelmed trying to catch up on things.”

Lena walks towards the couch and puts down the bag on the coffee table. “Have you considered using your very advantageous _skill_?” Lena asks casually.

Sam’s eyes go wide at the mere mention and she looks outside of her office, pushing off her glasses to make sure no one was in earshot before slipping them back on. She goes to close the door to her office. “I can’t do that, can I?” she asks self consciously. 

Lena unpacks the lunch. “Are you kidding me? Why wouldn’t you? Your super speed doesn’t impact your retention or memory. If anything you should be able to do more with it.”

Sam takes a seat next to Lena. “It’s just weird,” she notes aloud as she grabs the salad with her name on it. “I’ve just been trying to be normal, like things used to be.” 

“Sweetie, I think you are far past normal at this point,” Lena points out with endearment. “You’re a Kryptonian with superpowers like Supergirl.” 

Sam winces being compared to Supergirl. “I was a Kryptonian killing machine, Lena, I was nothing like Supergirl.” 

Lena looks sadly at her best friend. “ _You_ were _not_ a killing machine. That _weapon_ they put inside you was a killing machine. And it’s dead.” Sam doesn’t react, just taking in Lena’s words, trying to believe what she says. “What you have is a gift and you can use it for good.” 

Sam scrunches her nose. “Like speed reading reports and running a multibillion dollar company?” 

Lena purses her lips. “Well, I don’t pay you to sit around all day.” She lets out an infectious laugh that Sam joins in with. 

They share lunch, talking about their next business strategies with Lena’s latest ventures. They catch up more fully on their lives like no time has passed at all. Sam revels in it; finding a semblance of real life outside of the DEO. For a little while, Sam forgets that Reign even existed. 

Sam even listens to Lena after lunch, engrossing herself into work. Her mind starts to open up, every neuron in her brain firing at a different speed as she takes in all of the work she’s been dreading. She maintains her focus on reading through the reports and marking them up for notes. By the time she’s done, she actually has time to breathe before her late afternoon meetings. 

She uses the few minutes she has to check her messages. 

**Alex [2:34pm]** : sorry alien heist across the city

**Alex [2:35pm]** : do you want me to call?

**Alex [3:00pm]** : about to get back on the road; picking up ruby from school and then swing by your office after to bring you to the DEO

At the mention, Sam checks her calendar and realizes it’s been a full week since she’s been out. She’s scheduled for an assessment. While she wishes she could talk to Alex sooner, it warms her heart to know that she’ll be seeing her soon enough. 

**Sam [3:26pm]** : i have a client meeting soon, but i’ll be done in an hour

It turns out that the client meeting took more than an hour. It was pushing two hours before Jess came to save her. Well, Alex scared Jess into saving her because Ruby was scaring Alex into scaring Jess. _Needless_ to say, Jess was scared, but absolutely terrified of Sam when she walked out of that conference room. 

Sam knows that the nature of the business is frustrating more often than not. She knows that most of her clients are pig headed and stubborn and basically _soul_ _sucking_. 

What bothers her the most is trying _not_ to be angry even though she very much is. The rage is like fire inside of her, crackling under dying coals, waiting to be brought back to life with a single breath. Sam vaguely remembers this feeling of anger and dominance twisting inside of her like a coil. The feeling itself makes her nauseous. It’s the feeling she has right before she forgets who she is because Reign takes over. 

Sam tries to focus on not being angry. It’s easy to feel less angry when she’s replaced the feeling with guilt.

Alex is the one doing the initial assessment. Something Sam’s gotten used to over the last couple of months because Alex doesn’t treat her like a science experiment. She downloads the data from the cloud and physically assesses her for Dr. October. 

“You were pretty quiet in the car,” Alex says as she waits for the results to transfer to the tablet. 

Sam nods. “Yeah, just a long meeting.” In fact, she still has to check emails from all of that time she spent in the meetings. 

“We noticed,” Alex informs with a gentle smile. “Ruby and I raided the fridge for snacks and needless to say, we cleared the last of it.” 

“I’ll get Jess to replenish the stock.” Sam adds, trying to focus on her work. There are so many inane emails that could easily have been handled if people read what they were supposed to read. She types a response. The guilty feeling still sits at the bottom of her heart.

“Sam?” Alex calls out, catching her attention. 

Sam stares up in surprise, realizing that she’s managed to tune out everything that’s been going on. “I’m sorry, did you say something?” She almost puts her phone down, when she feels a vibration. She glances at the message and it’s not good. 

It’s far from good and suddenly the phone in her hand explodes. Sam recoils as she drops the phone onto the ground with a clatter in it’s pile of glass. She jumps off the bed and moves to pick up the phone when she sees it didn’t explode, it was crushed. By her hand.

“Shit, shit, _shit_ ,” Sam lets out as she picks up her phone and tries to clean up the mess, using her hand to sweep up the glass. She reminds herself to remain calm and that she has nothing to be angry about, but it’s beyond that. The guilt in her chest becomes overwhelming because she can do _this_. She can crush anything with just a twitch of her hand. She had to control herself, her emotions, otherwise nothing was safe. 

She doesn’t realize she’s lost in thought until she feels Alex lifting her to stand, letting the phone and the glass drop back to the ground. 

“Sam!” Alex yells suddenly, startling her. “What’s going on? Why are you so upset?” Her eyes are full of worry. Her hands are cupping her cheeks and pushing her hair away from her face. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.” 

Sam shakes in Alex’s warm hands, finding comfort that only Alex can offer. “I don’t know, _I don’t know_ ,” she lets out helplessly. “I didn’t mean to do that. I just--I got _frustrated_.” 

Alex furrows her brow, glancing to the ground where the shattered phone is. “It’s just a phone, Sam, you’re fine.”

“I just--I broke it with my hands,” Sam points out. “Like it was _nothing_.” Sam tries to move out of Alex’s touch, suddenly worried that she could accidentally hurt her too. 

“It happens,” Alex reminds, holding fast onto Sam. “You’re still getting used to your powers.”

“But what if I never get used to them?” Sam disagrees quickly. “What if I can’t control them? Or what if I lose control of them? What if...”

_ What if she comes back? _

The question goes unasked but Alex knows that’s what Sam was getting at. Sam shuts her eyes and tries to breathe, letting herself try and relax under Alex’s touch. Alex isn’t scared of her. That has to mean something.

“Is this what you meant by your text this morning?” Alex asks carefully. Sam opens her eyes slowly to meet Alex’s gaze. “Are you scared you can’t control your powers?” 

Sam nods, feeling pathetic for admitting it. “Whenever, I get frustrated or angry, I just feel every part of me is on fire and there’s this need to let my anger out. And I can’t do it. I’m scared if I give in, even just a little bit, Reign will come back.” She grasps Alex’s hand at her cheek, wanting to feel some kind of contact. 

“Reign isn’t coming back,” Alex says with utmost confidence. “If she was, we’d be the first to know.” Sam laughs in disbelief. “I’m serious. Sam, we’re not going to let _anything_ happen to you.” Alex makes eye contact with her again, trying to instill some reassurance. “All of your feelings are valid. _All of them_. And you shouldn’t be afraid to feel them just because your circumstances have changed. Making yourself feel something you really don’t will just hurt you even more. This is about you healing, Sam, not guilting yourself over who you are.” Sam opens her mouth speak again, and it’s like Alex knows what she’s thinking. “You’re not Reign. You’re Sam Arias. And you’re a good person.” 

Sam feels her heart warm at Alex’s words. The guilt still lingers but there’s a flicker of hope inside of her that agrees with Alex. Maybe it’s the way Alex stares reverently at her as she speaks.

“How do you always know what to say?” Sam lets out, feeling exhausted from the myriad of emotions. 

Alex smirks. “I’ve seen you everyday for the past three months, kind of obligated to know at this point.” 

Sam shakes her head. “You’re a jerk.” 

The rest of the assessment goes better than expected. After talking to Alex, Sam feels more prepared. Dr. October has no problem with her vital signs and physical assessment. She does recommend Sam eat a bit more than she’s used to if she’s going to continue using her powers and points out the emotional spike changes with Dr. Quinzel. Dr. Quinzel tells her to monitor her temper, writing down her feelings when she can, so that they can discuss it during a full session. Kara and J’onn also stop by to see how she is doing. Lena calls to check in as well. 

Sam feels overwhelmed by the positive support and she starts to wonder what she’s done to deserve it.

\---------------------

It’s late in the night. It’s strange how when she was both Reign and Sam, she constantly felt exhausted and overwhelmed. The urge to rest would always come but when Sam closed her eyes, she’d only wake up even more exhausted. Now that she’s just Sam, using her powers for training once a week and small bursts to get her through the day, but doesn’t take much of a toll on her. Her metabolism has been ridiculously awesome, but even then, she thinks she should be getting a bit more sleep. 

There’s a knock on her window that startles her out of bed. She sits up quickly, eyes darting around. 

Kara hovers outside of her window as Supergirl, smiling brightly as she taps at her window again. 

Sam rolls her eyes as she gets out of bed, quietly padding over to open her window. “This is both creepy and romantic, just so you know.” She looks out the window and Kara is most definitely hovering two floors up.

“I was trying to be friendly,” Kara playfully returns, even with a faint blush on her cheeks. 

“Okay, Romeo,” Sam sarcastically says with a gentle push. Kara floats away and then back like she’s on a tether. “Wherefore art thou outside my window?” 

Kara giggles. “You nerd.” Sam sticks out her tongue. “I was patrolling the city, thought I’d stop by and see how you were doing.” 

Sam narrows her eyes. “Were you like listening to my heartbeat or something?” 

“Nooo,” Kara terribly lies. Sam doesn’t even have to change how much narrower her eyes get because Kara immediately fesses up. “Okay, maybe, _yes_. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Did Alex talk to you?” Sam can’t help but be suspicious. 

Kara shakes her head. “Not anything specific. She just thought maybe we could talk. You know Kryptonian to Kryptonian.” 

“I’m not--” Sam stops herself mid-sentence because she sees the way Kara’s eyes dim just a little bit. She _is_ Kryptonian. But all she’s ever known is being human. It just doesn’t feel right either way. “I’m sorry. I just feel a bit lost right now. There are so many things going on with these powers, I’ve got to wear glasses now, I’ve to keep those earring on, I’ve got to keep my temper together. I just don’t know when it’s going to feel...comfortable.” 

Kara nods, understanding fully. She reaches out for Sam’s hand and squeezes them gently. “Let’s go,” she suddenly says. 

“Go? Go where?” Sam asks with wide eyes.

“Flying,” Kara says with excitement. Sam feels her eyes get impossibly wider. “Come on, it’ll be fun.” Sam is about to protest. “And it’ll help you clear your head. I promise.” 

Sam takes a breath. She looks back into her house. “I can’t leave Ruby.”

Kara taps her ear. “I’ll listen for her. We won’t go far; it’d take us 30 seconds to get back here.”

Sam weighs her options. Kara isn’t going to relent and it isn’t like she isn’t going to sleep anytime soon. She nods and grabs her glasses and hoodie before sitting halfway out her window before realizing Kara’s already floated 30 feet up and away. “Hey, how do you think I’m going to get around?” 

“You can _fly_.” 

“Yeah, but I’ve never done it on purpose! I like the ground and I run really fast on it now.” 

Kara rolls her eyes before floating back towards Sam and grabbing her under her arms. 

“This isn’t a very romantic position,” Sam grumbles as Kara carries her into the air.

“I save the theatrics for special people.”

Sam snorts. “Like Lena?” 

Kara doesn’t even respond and lets go. Sam suddenly feels herself drop even when she’s at least 50 ft in the air. She lets out a scream and flails to grab onto something before she realizes she isn’t falling. Suddenly, it feels like she’s floating in water. 

It’s a different sensation than she’s used to. She vaguely remembers flying as Reign but those were different circumstances. They were a testament to power. The need to be above everyone to be feared and cowered before. Sam turns over like she’s in anti-gravity before she rights herself. 

“First off, I can’t believe you dropped me,” Sam tries to be angry but Kara just shrugs innocently, “and secondly, this is kind of cool.” She focuses on moving towards Kara, who floats around playfully. 

“It gets better.” 

It really does. 

Kara darts off towards the heart of the city and with another quick glance at her quiet home, Sam does the same. She feels the air whip across her face and through her hair. The streamline around her body like she’s slipping through another plane of existence. All she can think about is flying. She sees the city lights below her, lights turning off and coming on. All the walks of life underneath her are small but there are so many that makes her heart swell. 

The best part is that the faster she goes, chasing after Kara doing laps and laps, loops and twirls, it makes her feel free. She feels not powerful, she feels empowered. 

They eventually stop.

Kara lands on top of the CatCo helipad and takes a seat right at the ledge. She beckons Sam to sit down next to her. 

“This is one of my favorite views of the city,” Kara says, staring with a reverent smile. “One of the many reasons why I wanted to come work for Cat. Her office has the best overlook that reminds me of home.” 

Sam looks at Kara. _Home_. She doesn’t know all of Kara Zor El’s story just yet. She stares at the city as well, trying to see what Kara does. She pushes off her glasses briefly testing them out, but her senses are still overloaded through the city lights. She lets out a small breath and slips her glasses back on. “How long will it take for me to get used to everything?”  

Kara looks at Sam, placing an arm around her shoulder. “It depends on you.” Sam looks at her. “When I came to Earth I was more overwhelmed by the fact that I had powers. My mother told me I would have these powers on Earth, that I was destined to be extraordinary. I knew what my responsibilities were so I didn’t have to be afraid of my powers.” 

Sam looks down at her dangling feet in shame. She hates feeling the way she does.

“You know what helps with the sounds?” Kara starts, getting Sam’s attention. “Focusing on the people we love. Through all the noise, you can focus on one thing to help you filter everything else out. You can hear Ruby through all of this. Do you want to try?” 

Sam thinks about Ruby. Ruby is her heart. Everything that she does is for Ruby. She takes a breath and takes off the earrings slowly, letting the sounds pour into her mind. Just like every other time she does, there are sounds everywhere, like everyone’s thoughts are pouring into her head overlapped with a cacophony of frequencies. Sam feels her head start to ache.

“Think about Ruby,” Kara says soothingly. “Think about her voice, her laughter. The way she breathes when she sleeps. These are sounds that you know.”

“It’s just---too much going on I hear everything else--” The sound continues to overwhelm her, seemingly getting louder and louder. Sam rubs her temples to ease the aching. 

“Ruby is your anchor. Your heart. Listen for it.” 

Sam focuses harder, filtering the sounds and voices. They slowly fade away, to the back of her mind, still present but just--quiet. There’s a breath of relief before a quiet…. _thump….thump….thump_. She opens her eyes. The singular soothing sound of a resting heartbeat. She remembers the first time she heard Ruby’s heartbeat on the ultrasound. “I hear it,” she quietly sobs in awe. She looks to Kara, who stares at her proudly. “I hear Ruby’s heartbeat.” 

Sam listens in awe at her daughter until she realizes another heartbeat accompanying it. She's always heard in passing at the DEO, one of the few sounds she kept in the back of her mind as a foundation, but now she can hear it as clear as Ruby’s. Closer to the heart of the city, Alex is also sleeping peacefully. Both of those sounds bring a smile to Sam’s face.

\---------------------

It’s breakfast for dinner on a Friday when Sam and Ruby get into an argument. It was supposed to be pancakes and syrup and food coma galore because Sam had the luxury of a Saturday off. Then Ruby drops a question that changes a course of the whole night. 

“Mom, can you take me flying?” Ruby asks as she beats the batter. 

Sam pauses cleaning the fruit briefly and lets out a laugh, “Haha, no way kiddo.” 

“What? Why?” Ruby is genuinely shocked. She’s rightfully so, Sam rarely says no to her. 

“It’s way too dangerous.” 

“Oh, come on, I’ll be flying with _you_. I know you’d make it safe for me,” Ruby reasons as she stops beating the batter. Sam shrugs as she strains the fruit to dry. She goes to the fridge for the eggs and bacon. “Supergirl flies people all the time.”

Sam tenses. She hears the crack of a few eggs in the carton before she quickly relaxes and puts the items on the counter. She takes a breath with a shake of her head. “I’m not Supergirl, Rubes, I barely fly myself around as it is. I don’t want to risk you.” 

“But you are like Supergirl, you have super strength, you have super hearing, you have freeze breath--you have all these really cool powers. You _are_ a superhero. You could be a superhero! Oh my god, are you going to _work_ with Supergirl?” 

Sam suddenly feels overwhelmed. Ruby’s enthusiasm is something that she’s been dreading. She loves that Sam has powers and everything that comes with it. But she doesn’t understand what it means for Sam to have them. It’s like Ruby forgot that Reign was the reason she had those powers. 

“Ruby, _no_! Just **stop** okay? This isn’t up for discussion.” Sam snaps. “I’m _not_ Supergirl. I’m _not_ going to be like Supergirl. That’s that.” 

Ruby looks taken aback at her mom’s sudden outburst. She’s both shocked and hurt that Sam even raised her voice at her. 

Sam can see it all over Ruby’s face and she instantly regrets it. “Ruby…” 

Ruby puts down the bowl of batter and carefully steps back. “You know, I think I’m going to pass on dinner,” she says quietly.

“Come on, kiddo--” Sam tries, reaching for her daughter. 

Ruby quickly ducks back and slips out of the kitchen. 

Sam sighs in frustration. Just as she does, the doorbell rings and she goes to see who is there.

Ruby’s open the door and there Alex stands, dressed in her civilian clothes with a brown bag and smile on her face. 

“Hey, I stopped by your favorite cookie place and got dessert,” Alex greets before she sees Ruby’s face. “What’s wrong?” 

Ruby mumbles something to Alex before glancing behind her to see Sam. She doesn’t say anything else before rushing up the stairs, leaving Alex confused in the doorway. 

Sam tries to act like nothing is wrong. There is something clearly wrong but she can’t do anything about it while Ruby is upset. She doesn’t know how to fix it just yet. “What’re you doing here?” she asks carefully. “Are you my security detail for the night?”

Alex rubs the back of her neck nervously. “I had a night off, thought I’d stop by with some dessert because I haven’t seen you guys in awhile.” She looks at the bag in her hand before looking back at Sam. “If it isn’t a good time, I can go?” 

Sam shakes her head and relieves Alex of the cookies. Even if she can smell them fully, she wishes she could enjoy them but the awful feeling sits in her chest. “Ruby just--she’s not feeling well.”

Alex looks unsure for a moment but she see the slump in Sam’s shoulders. “Are you sure about that?” 

Sam doesn’t say anything for a moment, picking at the edge of the bag in her hand. Instead of feeling helpless and uncertain, she feels relieved that Alex is there. “We got into a fight,” she lets out with immense guilt. “She asked me if I could take her flying and I said no.” Alex nods, patiently waiting for her to continue. “She’s just so excited about all of these powers but she doesn’t know what it’s done to me--There were moments when I was Reign with Ruby, things that I’ve said to Ruby as Reign, that make me scared. I just don’t want to risk any chance.” 

Alex stares at her tenderly and reaches out to rub her upper arms. “I understand,” she offers lightly. Her hair bobs as she nods thoughtfully. “It’s not an easy position to be in, trying to keep your daughter safe, but wanting her to be happy while trying to be happy. It’s very _very_ complicated.” 

Sam lets out a small smile at Alex’s charmingly goofy explanation. Alex cracks a smile in return. “Do you maybe want to come in?” she asks, biting her lip with uncertainty. She doesn’t know why, but her heart is entirely hopeful that Alex will say yes. 

Alex glances upstairs. “Are you sure?” 

Sam does the same, thinking about Ruby. “Maybe if you’re here, she’ll be more inclined to come down for dinner.” 

Alex nods in agreement. She decides to stay and even helps Sam to cook. While she doesn’t usually make such a spread for breakfast, in this case breakfast for dinner, she likes being in the kitchen with Sam. Sam looks at ease being able to do something to take her mind off of work and the DEO. 

Alex understands what it’s like to want some normalcy. In a perfect world, things would be in order, unsurprising and calm, but she knows the reality of the situation. She knows what it means to be great and extraordinary. As much as she can see Sam being great, she won’t force it. She doesn’t want to because Sam is perfect as she is. With her powers though--there are times that Alex has a wistful sigh as she thinks about how extraordinary Sam would be. Not just for National City having another hero or Kara having another kin, but for Sam to feel that greatness. 

They are finally finishing up on the first stack of pancakes when Alex offers to go find Ruby. She can see the skepticism in Sam’s face but Alex reassures her that it’ll be fine.

Alex knocks on Ruby’s door carefully, already pushing in. “Knock, knock kiddo,” she greets. 

Ruby turns around from her desk, obviously just mindlessly scrolling through facebook even though she has her homework open. “Hey, Alex,” she greets morosely. “What’s up?” 

“Can I come in?” 

Ruby looks at her in confusion. “Yeah, sure. Why are you asking?” 

“I’m being polite.” Alex enters, shutting the door halfway behind her. 

“It’s not a big deal. Mom sometimes barges in, especially when it’s dinner,” Ruby says nonchalantly as she gently spins back and forth in her chair. 

Alex takes a seat on the edge of Ruby’s bed, in front of her. She doesn’t try to be casual about it, she knows Ruby can see through her sometimes. So she’s straightforward with, “Your mom told me what happened.” Ruby crosses her arms and sinks into her seat. “You want to talk to me about it?” 

Ruby chews the inside of her cheek, trying to mask her hurt through anger. “She’s just being mean,” she grumbles. 

“What makes you say that?” 

“Because she’s just using the excuse that it’s dangerous to go flying when she can easily keep me safe. She’s got all the powers like Superman and Supergirl.” 

Alex takes a breath, thinking carefully of what to say. Ruby isn’t just a kid. There are some things she knows more than most kids and with how close she is with Sam, she knows that being angry isn’t the only thing she’s feeling. She just doesn’t know what else to think because Sam’s not going to say it. “Ruby, your mom is going through a lot. Just last year, you two were a normal family that just moved across the country for a job. Then your mom discovered the truth about being Kryptonian and Reign happened.”

At the mention of Reign, Ruby stiffens, unconsciously curling into herself. “She’s not Reign.” 

“She’s not,” Alex agrees. “She’s your mom and she loves you so much. She’d do anything for you.” She looks to the door, thinking she hears something for a moment. “But Reign--” 

“Reign’s gone, you guys got rid of her.” 

“We did what we could, but for your mom, Reign is still a part of her.”

“But she’s not. Reign is dead. My mom is finally just my mom.” Ruby declares so surely, but underneath it, Alex can hear the quiver in her voice. “She’s a good person. She wouldn’t have wanted to do anything that Reign did.” 

“I know, Ruby, I _know_ ,” Alex immediately comforts. “We all know that. It just--you have to--Reign _was_ a part of your mom, she was an evil put inside of your mom to do things she wouldn’t ever dream of. It’s scary to think that there’s something inside of you that you can’t control. Your mom is just a little scared still.” Alex looks at Ruby carefully and sees the way Ruby looks at her feet with guilt as she slowly pieces things together. “Look, your mom loves you more than anything in the world. You’re the reason she was able to break through Reign and come back.”

Ruby looks at Alex carefully. “Really?” 

Alex nods with a smile. “Yes, really. Just give her some time, okay? She’s got a ways to go but she’s doing it for you.”

After a moment Ruby lightens up, throwing up her hands feigning disgruntled surrender. “Fine, _fine_. I get it mom loves me the most, I’m her heart, blah blah, we are going to get through it and I’ve gotta be patient.” Alex chuckles at Ruby, but she feels immensely better to see that. Ruby lets out a breath of relief. “Thanks for talking to me, Alex.” She hops out of her chair to hug her. 

Alex welcomes it like she’s done it hundred of times. "Anytime, Ruby." When she lets go, she stands up and pats Ruby’s shoulder. “So, pancakes?” 

Ruby laughs and nods. “Pancakes.” 

“Guys, you’re late for Pancake o’ clock!” Sam’s voice booms up the stairs. “I can literally eat all of this myself now!” 

“We’re coming!” Alex yells back as they head downstairs. “Your mom is a dork.” 

“It’s part of her charm, trust me,” Ruby throws over her shoulder. 

Alex laughs because she can’t quite argue with that.

\---------------------

Dinner goes swimmingly especially when Ruby comes bounding down the stairs straight into Sam’s side to hug her tightly. She mumbles _I love you_ and while Sam’s heart melts at this, she can’t help but look at Alex curiously, who just shrugs. Sam mouths a _thank you_ before kissing the top of her daughter’s head. 

Because it is a Friday and Sam doesn’t have work in the morning, Ruby coaxes her and Alex to play WiiU with her, claiming that it’s more fun when there’s real competition. Sam doesn’t stand a chance during Smash but enjoys annoying the two with Pikachu for as long as she stands. They play multiple games at Ruby’s insistence and neither of them can say no. 

It’s late before they realize it and Ruby is yawning tiredly. 

“Go brush your teeth and go to bed,” Sam says, pushing Ruby gently before she falls asleep on the couch. She starts cleaning up the snack and glasses on the coffee table.

Alex smiles beside Ruby, trying to sit her up as she starts leaning against her. “Listen to your mom.” 

Ruby grumbles with a pout before getting up. She wraps her arms around Sam’s waist. “Goodnight, mom, love you,” she murmurs, still hugging tightly. She walks around the couch, before realizing she hasn’t hugged Alex and reaches over to hug her. “Goodnight, Alex.” 

Alex sinks back into the hug, rubbing Ruby’s forearms. “G’night.”

Sam can’t help but smile at how much Ruby’s taken to Alex. She can see the way Alex has taken to her as well and honestly, she can’t imagine how she would’ve gotten through her time at the DEO without Alex’s support. 

Alex helps her finish cleaning up. They do the dishes side by side quietly and comfortably. Sam really starts to feel a weight lifted from her shoulders just by Alex’s mere presence. 

“It’s getting late,” Sam says looking outside. “Maybe you should stay?” 

Alex looks a bit surprised at Sam’s offer. Sam almost rescinds, feeling like maybe it was too much to ask. Alex looks down, neck turning red, as she continues to dry the dishes. “I don’t want to impose.” 

“It’s not a problem,” Sam instantly says, suddenly finding the speck of chocolate on the dish she’s washing important. “You’ve slept over before and like I said, it’s getting late. Ruby would kill me if something happened to you riding home this late.” 

Alex makes a small sound. “Using Ruby is a bit of a low blow don’t you think?” 

Sam bites her lip as she continues to focus on cleaning. “Who else can reason with my daughter in less than an hour?”

“True.” 

They finish cleaning dishes and just as Sam finishes up in the kitchen. She sees Alex draping the throw on the couch. 

Without even thinking, Sam says, “You’re not sleeping down here.” 

“I’m not?” Alex is completely confused. 

“Yeah, that thing will hurt your back. Come on.” Sam says leading Alex to her room. 

“Sam, it really isn’t a big deal,” Alex says realizing as they get closer to her room. 

Sam rolls her eyes and reaches for Alex’s hands. “It’s not like you haven’t slept in my bed before. So you know it’s comfortable.” She doesn’t leave room for Alex to argue. Alex doesn’t really argue, probably too stunned to do so. 

In the end, Sam hands her an old college t-shirt and sweatpants to change into as they get ready for bed. There’s a bit of a surprised look on Alex’s face when she climbs into bed, but neither of them say anything as Sam turns off the light. Sam takes off her glasses and earrings, setting them on the nightstand.

“Goodnight, Alex,” she says as she sinks into her pillows. Beside her though, she can hear Alex’s heart racing beside her and her breathing sounds a bit off. She turns on her side and looks at Alex, who stares at the ceiling. “Are you okay?” 

Alex turns her head to look at Sam. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she says shifting underneath the blanket. 

“Your heart is racing,” Sam points out playfully tucking her hand under her head. 

Alex scoffs and takes a breath. “Shut up,” she murmurs. “It’s nothing.” 

“Are you uncomfortable sleeping with me? I can go sleep downstairs.” 

There’s a jump in her heart beat again. “Don’t be ridiculous,” Alex protests, “this is your bed.” 

Sam narrows her eyes, shifting closer beside Alex. It’s rare to see Alex nervous but it’s starting to feel like she is. Alex turns to look at Sam fully, realizing the shrinking distance. “You do realize this is turning into _that trope_ right?” 

Alex scrunches up her nose. “What?” 

Sam rolls her eyes. “You know the ‘ _no funny business bed sharing'_ trope.”

“Oh my god.” Alex face palms herself. “You know, it turned into that trope _now_.” 

“That’s because you’re the one that’s uncomfortable,” Sam blatantly points out.

Alex throws up her hands. “I’m not uncomfortable.”

“Says your heart rate.” 

“Hey, not fair using your powers on me.” 

“It’s hard not to notice. Come on, we’re both adults. Why don’t you tell me if you are uncomfortable and what’s making you uncomfortable? So we can get through the night without being weird.”

Alex shakes her head in disbelief. “Do you say this to everyone that you’re in bed with?” 

“Wow, you must think I have some game to have a lot of people in bed with me.” 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Alex vehemently protests. “I just meant--”

“Alex, calm down,” Sam giggles, seeing Alex riled up. “I know what you meant. I’m just messing with you. But for the record, I don’t bring anyone over here ever. Having a twelve year old daughter and running a Fortune 500 company leaves very little room for romance.” Alex doesn’t say anything, but still obviously listens. “I just figured with you and I being close enough, we could talk like normal adults and not make things weird when they don’t have to be.” 

“ _Well_ , you don’t have time for that.” 

“I really don’t.” 

Alex lets out an amused sound. “Alright, I’ll be honest with you. I’m just not used to sharing a bed. It’s been awhile since my last relationship and...it’s not often I have beautiful women in bed with me either.” 

Sam feels her cheeks warm. “That was smooth, agent. I’m inclined to believe you’re lying to me, but I know you wouldn’t.” 

Alex purses her lips and nods. “Sharing a bed is stressful. You think, _am I going to steal the blankets? Am I going to kick her? Is cuddling okay?_ ” 

Sam laughs at the myriad of thoughts that Alex lets out. “That’s really stressful for no reason, Alex.” 

“You _asked_ what makes me uncomfortable,” Alex argues. 

“Fine. I may steal the covers, I don’t kick, and cuddling is perfectly okay.” Alex balks at Sam. Sam just smiles and she can still hear Alex’s heart racing. “But I’m big spoon.” 

Alex’s jaw drops. “Sam--” 

“I watched a Grey’s Anatomy episode and learned hugging relaxes the sympathetic nervous system, slows the heart, and calms you down,” Sam says suddenly, reaching across Alex’s waist, hearing her heart jump again. 

Alex giggles as she gets pulled into Sam. “I don’t watch that show.” 

“You should,” Sam encourages as Alex’s side presses into her chest. “There’s a doctor that looks like you.” 

“That’s why I don’t watch it,” Alex grumbles as she shifts, feeling her shoulder press into Sam’s chest. “Are we really doing this?” 

“Cuddling? Mm _hmm_. Your heart rate is going _crazy_ right now.” 

“Ugh.” Alex suddenly shifts, moving onto her side before sinking back into Sam. “It’s not everyday I have a woman cuddling me, okay?” 

“Aww _pobrecito_ Alex,” Sam coos playfully as she pulls Alex against her chest. The warmth against her body helps her too. It makes her feel just as safe. “It’s not everyday I have a woman to cuddle either.” 

“You’re a big flirt,” Alex points out. 

“You’re easy to rile up,” Sam throws back.

Alex takes a deep breath and releases it. Just as she does, Sam can hear her heart rate start to slow and her body start to relax. Sam starts to breathe evenly with Alex. It’s funny how the only sound she seems to hear presently is Alex’s heart rate. Everything in the background doesn’t seem to bother her. 

For a moment, she thinks Alex falls asleep, but she shifts back into Sam and her arm overlaps Sam’s around her waist. 

“Alex?” 

“Mm?” 

“Thanks for talking to Ruby,” Sam says quietly as she stares out the window. She can see the stars twinkling in the night. “There’s a lot I wish I could talk to Ruby about, but it’s just so much for her being so young. I don’t even know what to say.”

“Take your time,” Alex reminds, rubbing her arm comfortingly. “Just remember who you are and focus on all the good things that come with that.” 

“I wish it was that easy.” 

Alex hums. “You’re a good person. Don’t forget that.” 

“I’ll try.” Sam lets out a deep breath again, but this time she snuggles against Alex’s back breathing in the comforting lavender and cucumber melon scent. “Thanks for being here.”

“Anytime, Sam.”

\---------------------

It has officially been _three_ months since her release from the DEO. It feels like forever to be honest, but weirdly fast at the same time. 

“So how have you been feeling Sam?” Dr. Quinzel asks casually. There’s a bright smile on her face as she stares at Sam through her horned rimmed glasses. 

“I’ve been good,” Sam lets out. She _has_ been good. Things have gotten better since she’s been out of the DEO, slowly but surely. “Things have...come together in the last couple of months.”

“Are you still having nightmares?” 

Sam tucks her hair behind her ears and nods sheepishly. “Not as often, but the thoughts cross my mind some days.” 

“And what days are those?” 

“The days I hear someone call for help.”

Dr. Quinzel stares at Sam quizzically. She crosses her legs and sits back in her seat. “You’ve gotten used to not wearing the earrings?” 

Sam nods. At least that was a good thing that’s come out of it. “I try to wear them less at night. Sometimes during the day. But then I hear a cry for help and I don’t know--I feel like I hear it as _her_.” 

“As Reign?” 

“Thinking back, there was a part of me that felt like I was still her subconsciously. All of the things she didn’t want to hear, the humanity, the fear, the begging for mercy, _I_ could hear.” 

“From what the reports have been saying over the last few months, it seems that there could be only one consciousness occupying your body at a time. Do you feel like that’s incorrect?” 

“Yes? Maybe? I don’t know--” Sam honestly discloses. 

“Do you still blame yourself for what Reign has done?” 

Sam thinks for a moment. She doesn’t quite know how to respond to the question, but she feels it. The guilt still sits in her chest when she thinks about all the good she could’ve done if it weren’t for Reign. “I think I do.” 

“It seems to me like you are,” Dr. Quinzel chirps back. “It’s understandable that you feel guilt over what your inhabitant has done. But you have to understand that you were an unwilling vessel that had no idea this could’ve happened.” Sam wants to argue, but the doctor posits another question. “Do your friends and family hold you accountable for Reign’s actions?” 

Sam pauses, thinking again. “I would hope not,” she jokes mid-thought. Quinzel looks at her encouragingly. “No. _No_ , they don’t hold me accountable for Reign’s action.” 

“Then why do you?” 

Sam tries to think about it. Why does she still carry the guilt for what Reign has done? Over the course of 6 months everyone around her has been telling her otherwise. They all say it wasn’t her and it wasn’t her fault. Part of her wants to believe that it isn’t her fault. But the other half of her still finds that it is. _Reign_ was her or _she_ was Reign. 

There’s still a war she feels inside of her. The only problem is that she can’t fight it. It’s dead and gone and she barely had a chance to deal with it herself. 

Dr. Quinzel asks Sam to think about that question for their next session. She still notes the progress that Sam has made in the last few months and there are a few more areas that she’d like to go over, but she is confident that Sam will make it through. Just like everyone else has been, Dr. Quinzel has been an excellent support system.

\---------

Sam leaves to go find her daughter and Alex. The question burns inside of her, but she doesn’t want to think about it just yet. 

She finds them exactly where she left them an hour ago, with Chinese food in Alex’s lab. 

Ruby has some of her homework out and Sam can spot the science project she’s been mentioning all week. Looks like they’re finally getting around to doing it. 

“Hey you two,” Sam greets with a gentle knock on the glass pane. 

They both look up from Ruby’s notebook with bright smiles on their faces. 

“How did it go?” Ruby asks first, but she can see the gentle smile on Alex’s face wanting to know the same. “Are you doing okay?” 

Sam smiles, coming into the room beside Ruby and kissing her on the forehead. “Yes, I’m doing fine. Every session is a bit of progress.” 

“Good,” Ruby preens before picking up her notebook. “Alex is helping me refine my science project idea, so we can start working on it soon.” 

“Really? You’ll have to tell me about it when we get home.” 

Ruby nods in agreement. “We still have some kinks to work out, but I want to start it before Ryan Choi gets a jump on his.”

“The competition seems fierce.” 

Alex laughs a bit. “Oh it is. Ruby over here couldn’t stop ranting on about _Ryan Choi_ being top of the class.” She wiggles her eyebrows playfully at Sam. 

“Oh really?” Sam coyly responds, much to Ruby’s dismay. “Is this Ryan Choi _cute_?” The young girl instantly turns red and closes her notebook to put into her backpack.

“You two are the worst,” Ruby whines. “Shouldn’t you be disgusted by boys and never want to talk about them?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Alex asks in confusion. 

“Well you both like women, so you’d rather talk about women,” Ruby deadpans. 

Sam stands there offended. “Excuse me, sweet daughter of mine, why is my sexuality being brought into this?” 

“Because I want you to stop teasing me.” 

“Oh, you’re going to be in for a world of teasing once I meet this Ryan Choi,” Sam is relentless and Ruby knows it. “It is my matronly duty to embarrass you.” 

Ruby does a little stomp even as she turns red. “You’re the _worsttttttt_. Don’t embarrass me!” 

“Uh huh. Try to be cute about this,” Sam goads. “That’s what you get.” 

Ruby sticks her tongue out at Sam and Sam does it right back. Alex shakes her head and laughs at the two of them. Sam glances at Alex, who has turned a moderate shade of pink in the last 30 seconds and when she concentrates for a moment, she can hear the quickness of her heartbeat. 

As if Alex knows that Sam is listening, she quietly clears her throat and takes a bite out of the chicken in her bowl. 

“Hey, can you find out what Winn and Kara are bringing tonight?” Sam suggests to Ruby. There's a brief glance Ruby gives Sam and Alex before she nods.

“Make your daughter run all the errands why don't you?” Ruby dramatically announces as she walks out of the lab.

“I think she's getting more dramatic, isn’t she?” Sam comments as she takes Ruby’s seat next to Alex’s. Sam puts her purse on the bench. 

Alex snorts. “Yeah, she gets that from you.” She wordlessly hands Sam her bowl and chopsticks. 

“Or Kara,” Sam argues, taking the food gratefully. She starts to eat beside Alex, who grabs a chicken finger out of the emptying boxes. “So, what’s up?” 

“What?” Alex obliviously asks as she bites. 

“You’re being weird. Uncomfortable around me again,” Sam points out as if it’s the most obvious thing. 

Alex narrows her eyes. “Are you using your powers on me again?” 

“My powers of _perception_.” 

Alex rolls her eyes. Sam bumps her knees against Alex’s. Alex suddenly realizes how close their seats are and sits up a bit straighter so that there’s air between them. “It’s nothing. Just Ruby’s comment about you know…” 

Sam raises an eyebrow, stopping mid bite. “About me liking women?” 

Alex doesn’t seem to expect Sam to be so blatant as a piece of chicken gets lodged in her windpipe briefly. Sam laughs in amusement as she pats Alex’s back. “Yeah--that--” It takes Alex a moment to calm down and swallow the piece of chicken. Her face turns red out of embarrassment.

Sam wiggles her eyebrows. “Does that have an effect on you?” she flirts. “Does it make you even more nervous around me?” She annoyingly gets into Alex’s space. 

Alex pushes back against Sam’s shoulder. “Shut up,” she grumbles. “You big flirt.” 

Sam laughs as she reels back, giving Alex some space. “Men and women, there’s never been much of a difference to me. It’s not like I try to hide it,” she informs, catching Alex’s attention. “It doesn’t make much of a difference when you’re too busy to date.” 

Alex nods in agreement, looking in the box for more rice, when she realizes what’s left is in the bowl that she’s given Sam. Sam notices and hands the bowl back to her. 

“I got you something by the way,” Sam says, insisting Alex take the bowl. 

Alex takes it and stares curiously. “Other than food?” She continues eating as Sam reaches into her purse for a moderately sized box. It isn’t wrapped so Alex can see. “You got me a steth?”

“Yes, after three months, I finally remembered to replace the one I broke,” Sam says, handing Alex the box. “There were too many options for stethoscopes, it’s kind of unreal. I hope this is the right one.” 

Alex takes the box and looks at it in awe. “This isn’t cheap, Sam. I was making do with the ones we’ve got here.”

Sam shrugs. “Yeah, but the other one was yours. I even got the color the same.”

Alex opens up the box and sees the Hunter Green tubing of the stethoscope. It isn’t all that special of a gift, but coming from Sam it is. “That’s really thoughtful, Sam. Thank you.”

“Anytime, Alex.”  

\---------------------

Sam is amongst friends and family. For years, it’d been her and Ruby against the world. They’ve seen their world grow just a bit bigger since coming to National City. In spite of everything that’s happened, Sam couldn’t be more grateful. It’s scary to think what her life would be like now if she didn’t have them. 

The thought of losing them scares her just as much as Reign does. 

“You’re missing your own party,” Lena says, catching her attention. 

Sam turns from the window to see Lena walk into the kitchen. “Just had to get more wine,” Sam says, taking a sip from her glass. She doesn’t move from her spot just yet as Lena stands across from her to lean against the island. 

Lena takes a sip from her own glass and looks at Sam. “Everything okay?” 

Sam takes another sip with a nod. “Just thinking about things.”

“Care to share?”

“It’s nothing major. Just thinking about the last couple of months, feeling like everything’s coming into place, getting used to my powers--”

Lena smiles. “I can’t wait to see you without glasses.” 

Sam smiles shyly, pushing her glasses up. “Oh no, these are staying on. There are things I _don’t_ need to see. Plus I look incredibly intimidating with them on.” 

“That you do,” Lena can’t help but agree. “I don’t know how Kara is the only person that looks adorable even if she’s angry.”

“Eh, that’s just her.” 

“Probably. Not everyone can look as sexy as you when you take them off.” 

Sam preens as she sidles up to Lena. “Is that so Miss Luthor?” she flirts back, pushing her glasses down the bridge of her nose. Lena leans in, playing at Sam’s game, quickly kissing her on the cheek playfully that makes Sam laugh.  

“Sam, did you find the wine--” Alex walks into the kitchen and sees Lena laughing into Sam’s shoulder. “Uh--” 

Sam looks over Lena’s head and holds up her glass. “You hid it behind the milk,” Sam points out. At this point, Lena pulls back to straighten herself up and shoots Alex a playful grin. 

“The masses were getting thirsty,” Alex casually says, but she pointedly avoids Lena’s gaze as she walks towards them to grab the bottle of wine. She glances at Sam, sharing a small smile without another word and leaves the kitchen. 

Sam stares after Alex and takes another sip of her wine. 

“Must be nice having Alex around,” Lena points out. Sam sees the sly smile on Lena’s face. 

“It is,” Sam shamelessly agrees. She doesn’t shy away from Lena’s implication. “She’s been _so_ _great_ to Ruby and me.” 

“She best not take the title of best friend from me,” Lena bumps her hip with Sam. 

Sam rolls her eyes. “She’s more than that and you know it.” 

“I’m so glad _you_ _know_ it so I don’t have to tease you about it. Do you think she knows?” 

Sam shakes her head. “I’m not entirely sure. Sometimes I feel like she does, but when we talk, it just seems like a long journey is ahead of us.” 

Lena purses her lips thoughtfully. “Not necessarily a bad thing. At least you’re not alone.” 

Sam puts her arm around Lena for a gentle hug. It surprises Lena momentarily but she revels in it. “I’m glad I’m not alone.”

\---------------------

It was supposed to be a normal day for Sam and Ruby. The carnival was in town. They were going to gorge on fried dough, cotton candy, and win tons of prizes. 

Then, Alex gets a call saying she’s going to be late because Supergirl has an alien attack on the northern side of town. Ruby offers to go pick her up, so they make their way to the DEO. Sam worried that they’d be bothering her at work. 

For the DEO, it was lucky that she showed up. For Sam, not so much. 

“We’re getting reports of an armed robbery in the southeast side of town. There’s an electromagnetic signature messing with the feed.” 

Sam blanches beside J’onn as she stares at the screens because Supergirl is still in full swing with the aliens.

“Send a team,” J’onn orders. 

Ruby looks at Sam from beside Winn with a worried look on her face. It’s the face that Sam dreads every time there’s a news report, but there was undeniable relief that Supergirl was there in a blink of an eye. Now, Sam know she won’t be there in time. Their options aren’t limited but Ruby’s face says it all. 

She can’t do nothing. She has to do something. 

_ “Alex, take point.”  _

Sam’s hand shoots out and grabs J’onn arm almost reflexively, putting it down beside him. He stares at her with wide eyes. 

“I’m going,” Sam declares.

No one can tell her no because she’s already out of the landing flying to the bank. Winn’s hoodie is taken and left in his hands are Sam’s glasses. 

Sam bursts through the doors of the bank. Multiple screams from all direction fills her ears. Underneath her hood, she stares at the armed robbers holding their guns up in her direction. She hears the click before the burst of the bullets down to the scrape down the barrel. It all feels slow for her in a brief moment, but she holds her hands up to defend herself. 

Echoing _clinks_ follow. 

She smiles at the bullets littered around her because that’s still the coolest thing. 

“ _Stop this now_ ,” she orders. 

There are multiple gasps throughout the room. One of the robbers curse and call for his man to hurry up. Sam glances through the thick walls and sees two figures in the vault. 

First things first. She disarms the four robbers in the front, guns crushed beneath her hands. The cool metal barely presses into her skin as she does so and she marvels at how simple it all feels. She ties up the robbers with the zipties they have in their pants. 

She stares through the walls and sees the two figures leaving their comrades through the backdoor. 

Just as she steps outside, watching bags get loaded into the van, one of them turns around and shoots at her. A stream of lightning heads directly for her. She steels herself as quickly as the bolt hits her, coursing through her veins like a shot of adrenaline. It throws her head in a tizzy, but she shakes it off. 

She takes a deep breath and blows, watching as the men fly hard into the van, door slamming shut. Then punches the locks so they can’t get out. She’s just about to turn away when she goes to the front of the van and punches the engine into the ground. 

_ I hope that works.  _

When she gets back to the DEO, she thinks everything she’s done is completely wrong because J’onn is standing there with an impassive look on his face and there are a group of agents geared up. 

Sam carefully drops her hood and steps off the landing with her hands up. 

Alex moves through the crowd quickly for her until she’s directly in front of her. “What are you doing?” Her hands check every inch of her, patting her down quickly.

“I’m surrendering?” Sam says in confusion. 

“ _Why_?” Alex checks her eyes and cups her face, thumb brushing away the gunpowder at her cheek. 

“Because it looks like you guys are ready to arrest me?” 

Alex shakes her head and looks back at J’onn, who waves off the group of agents. “No, _god_ , we’re not arresting you.” She grabs Sam by the arm to pull her back into the DEO. 

“Then what are you doing?” Sam asks in return. 

“I’m making sure you’re okay.” Alex ushers her inside, arm around her shoulder as if she’s protecting Sam. “J’onn, we’ll be in my lab.” J’onn lets out a sigh before nodding. As they round the controls, they see Ruby with a bright smile on her face ready to bound towards her and Winn giving her thumbs up. “Ruby, I’ll come get you when I’m done.” Ruby obediently nods and turns to give Winn a high five. 

For someone with super speed, Sam can’t help but feel like Alex is moving faster than she is. Because all she can do is follow Alex into her lab, watch as she shuts the door behind them, turns on the light--inadvertently blinding Sam, and goes off ranting about something.

Sam sits down, trying to readjust her eyes to the white lights of the DEO. She can make out Alex’s figure pacing back and forth. She listens at other things than Alex’s voice, like her quick breathing, and alarmingly fast heart beat. 

“Are you crazy? I can’t believe you did that.” There’s a clatter on the bench in front of her. Suddenly, Sam feels the hoodie being pulled over her head and she’s in her tank top. There are hole where the bullets hit and she feels a breeze through them. “There are so many ways that could’ve gone wrong. You could’ve gotten hurt. You could’ve exposed yourself. Can you believe that? L-Corp CEO Superhero! They could think that you’re being experimented on. They could think that you’re an alien.”

“Alex?” Sam’s eyes finally adjust to the light, but now that she’s stationary, she sees everything again. “I _am_ an alien,” she tries to joke. 

Something presses against her chest and she hears Alex finally take a breath. Her heart beats loudly underneath the stethoscope, but Alex’s heartbeat is still louder. Sam focuses on the stethoscope, looking down at it and following the hunter green tubing to the ear pieces. Alex has a concentrated look on her face, the space between her brow crinkles in concentration. 

Sam smiles at how adorable Alex looks. Her hand gently comes up to grasp Alex’s but there’s a small huff as Alex pulls the stethoscope away. 

Alex throws it over her shoulders. “Now you want to joke about that?” Alex continues on, the annoyance and worry evident in her voice. “You say you don’t want to be a superhero, _fine_. You want things to be normal, _fine_. But putting yourself at risk like that, without consulting J’onn or me is _not fine._ We had a tac-team ready to go.”

Sam just stares because her vision feels clearer. Her head doesn’t hurt. And all she sees is Alex. After a moment, even under Alex’s hard gaze, Sam still finds herself staring in awe, amazement, and adoration. 

Alex averts her eyes and crosses her arms across her chest defensively. “Have you even been listening to a word I’m saying?” 

“Hmm?” Sam tilts her head. 

Alex scoffs and rolls her eyes. “What were you thinking Sam? Why’d you just go out there? I had a team ready to take care of it.”

Sam finally hears what Alex is saying and she feels exactly what she did when J’onn ordered the tactical team to get ready. “I didn’t want you to get hurt.” It comes out a lot easier than she thinks. It feels like the most obvious answer in the world. 

Alex looks shocked, reeling back, and leaning in as if she heard wrong. “What?” She shakes her head in disbelief. “No, Sam, you don’t get to do that. You don’t have to do things for me. This is part of my job. I don’t need you to do things for me. I don’t want you to.” 

“Why not?” Sam argues. “You do things for me all the time.”

“It’s different,” Alex throws back quickly. “I care about you.” 

Sam furrows her brows and snaps back, “I care about you too.” 

Alex huffs. “It’s--I know. I know you do. But this is different. This is you presently. This is you after Reign, with powers, trying to be Sam again. I don’t want you to do heroic things because anyone asks you to and _especially_ if I am at stake. I want you to do this for you.” 

Sam stands up, chair scraping underneath her. When she does, she feels Alex inches away from her, watching as she stands straight, a few inches taller than her. Alex doesn’t flinch or shy away as Sam steps right into her space until they are chest to chest, she just stares up at her with big round eyes, imploring her. Her lips parting slightly. 

Sam can hear Alex’s heart racing as fast as hers until they’re in concert. It’s almost as if they’re beating for each other, drawing them closer. She can feel her body tingle from the heat radiating from Alex. 

She doesn’t know what more she could say to that. Alex has always been patient and understanding. Over the last six months, she’s been her rock. Her family. So much more than just a friend. There are no words to describe what Alex means to her. Or how deeply grateful she feels for having Alex in her life. 

Even if her life isn’t perfect. Even if she has to live with the fact that Reign made her who she is. Alex has done almost everything in her power to make her feel like herself again. Even when she knows-- _they both know_ \--Sam could be so much more. 

“Sam--” Alex lets out raggedly at their proximity. Her eyes fall to Sam’s lips and she tries to look up quickly, but Sam’s already noticed. 

Sam ducks down and kisses Alex firmly on the lips, hearing a quiet gasp before their lips slot together. She slowly moves her lips against Alex’s, feeling the tension ease, and she draws her in, arms wrapping around her waist. Alex’s hands press against her shoulders, not pushing her away, but anchoring herself, as she starts to kiss back. 

Sam smiles into the kiss, feeling her heart soar insider of her, and she swipes her tongue against Alex’s bottom lip drawing out a quiet moan. She slips in just a little bit to taste her and a louder moan fills her ears. She starts thinking more, more, _more_ , hand sliding up to the nape of Alex’s neck until her fingers tangle in the short auburn locks. 

It feels like they could kiss forever until Alex pulls back quickly, trying to catch her breath. Sam chases after her until Alex pulls back again, hands pressing against her shoulders. “Wait, wait, I actually _need_ to breathe,” Alex pants. 

“Oh.” Sam giggles, realizing her mistake. Alex vibrates with laughter against her. “Sorry about that.” 

“Sorry?” Alex asks quietly. 

“For your human stamina,” Sam jokes. Alex reels back, offended. “I’m kidding.” Sam laughs some more as she pulls Alex tightly against her. “Was that okay?” 

Alex blushes, still trying to catch her breath. “You caught me a little off guard. I didn’t know you-” Sam searches Alex’s eyes for an explanation. “I didn’t know this was how you really felt.” 

Sam smiles, biting the urge to kiss Alex again. She does. This time slower and sweeter as if she’s saying hello. She pulls back, leaving Alex to chase after her a bit. She waits until Alex looks up at her in confusion and exhales like the burden has been completely lifted from her shoulders. Her fingers still press into Alex’s back, gently, carefully, just like the first time. 

“Thank you, Alex, for everything.” 

Alex quirks her head, smile still on her face. She reaches up to brush away a stray hair from Sam’s face. “Anytime, Sam.” 

**Author's Note:**

> i know that my writing is pretty casual because well, im a bit casual BUT i hope you enjoyed it! i had some favorite parts in this fic once again, im so sorry for it being long it honestly was supposed to be a quick story but i ended up spending too much time because theres a lot to tell 
> 
> anyway comment here what you think or yell at me on tumblr! nocteverbascio.tumblr.com


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